Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
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My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
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They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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