he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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