5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
