I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
