Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
