I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
