therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
