If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
this hospital has no fireball
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
