I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
