Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
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I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
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Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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