Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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