ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
