your thong is hanging out like whoa
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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