Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
