If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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