Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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