why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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