its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
