either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
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