so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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