Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize