6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
