Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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