it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
