im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
