I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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