I should be sponsored by Trojan
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
