well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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