Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
As shirtless as possible
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
