I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
