wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
