i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
