I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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