There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
