You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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