We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
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I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
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Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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