erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
