I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
