I hate your face
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
