i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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