Yo dont text me then not text me
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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