if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Help. Why am I so naked?
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