why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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