doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
