Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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