it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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