i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
