Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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