I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
