Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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