Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
