so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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