I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize