Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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