how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
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I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
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I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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