these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
