i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
