As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Still dying that you shit outside
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
