butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
