i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
