Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
