He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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