take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
