playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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