How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
