Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize