Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
The uberlube is also flammable
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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