I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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